Pilates 7-13

Okay, I’m a little late, but there are still mats left. Wait, why does everyone have weights? That’s okay; I’ll just grab a mat and throw it down here, OOPS, oh Damn, that’s slippery. No one saw. Just be more careful. I should have brought my own mat. My mat is prettier than anyone else’s here. And bigger. I have the biggest mat. No problem. I’ll use this stanky old mat. I’m no snob. This is me caring about myself and my health; I’m not here to impress anyone. The instructor will probably be able to tell that I have been doing Pilates for Quite a while. Those DVDs from Costco have been very helpful. See, she looked right at me when she said “Beautiful form”. The girl next me is so young and thin and she had to quit ‘the hundred’ before I did. You just can’t tell how fit someone is by looking at them. Wow, I’m starving. I should have had more Teddy Grahams before I came to the Gym. A lot of women in here are wearing make-up. That’s so stupid. What are they here for? To pick up guys? They’re just gonna clog their pores. Oh, look how pretty that girl is. Maybe I should wear make-up. And stretch, down to the toes. OH GAH, Look at my Toes! I need a pedicure. EWWW. This is harder than I remember. I’m in the back. The teacher won’t even know if I just sit this out. We’re lying down anyway. Yeah, that’s much better. Man a cigarette would be great right now. I’ll have to pick some up on the way home. Look at the color up there. What is that? Chartreuse? I think so. What color is Puce? I can never remember. We are sitting up now. And….roll forward. Ugh, I can see that girls but crack. And hers. Oh my gosh, why did that one even bother wearing pants. Geez, if I’d wanted to be a proctologist, I would have gone to butt doctor school. Why did the teacher look at me when she said we can modify this pose if it is too hard? Does she think I can’t do it? If that old lady over there can do it, I can do it. It’s not like it’s a reflection on my character if I modify. Why can that old lady do this? Ow Ow, Ow! Stop looking at me. It’s my first time in this class, what do you want from me? Lying back again, very nice. I can see the TV from here. That is a cute outfit on that rapper. I love T-shirts over long sleeved blouses. Is that still in for women? How will I know what to wear now that Gilmore Girls isn’t on anymore? Ow, Ow, thighs burning, need to rest. The music is really quiet in here. What is that song? OhNO! Is that Dust in the wind? I’m going to be in a bad mood all day now. And knees to chest. That would be a lot easier if my stomach was not bigger than my chest. Rolling, ow, rolling ow. Class is almost over, and we haven’t gotten to the laying down relaxing part. There is no laying down relaxing part? I like my DVDs. They have a laying down part. That was great! I’m definitely taking this class again.