Post Halloween Blues

And so, here we are, the day after Halloween. I am exhausted. This only has a little to do with Halloween. I am usually the queen of Halloween. I make homemade costumes for my kids and do elaborate face painting. I once dressed XX13 as a little clown in a bathtub. We have had mummies, Martians, pirates, and one very fancy fairy princess. I have tried twice to have Halloween parties, but both were failures. My stinkin' friends (No offense if you are one of them) don't get into Halloween like I do. The truth is, Roser doesn't get into it like I do. That is why the second party was a failure. Roser felt a little out of his element dressed as a natty pirate. This was years before Johnny Depp made pirates the go-to sexual fantasy for Gen X women.

Anyway....I spent most of the month of October being horrified and pissed off that the Halloween costume industry has been taken over by "Toddler Fetishes R Us". A French Maid costume? Really? For little girls? Ummmmm......Okay, that's not creepy at all. Above are just a few of the lovely examples I found. The pirate girl is really great, although, I think when Amy Winehouse saw her she said,

"It's pretty, but dontcha think you went a little heavy on the eye makeup?" Well, at least they classed the outfit by adding PVC knee-hi boots and a sassy choker. How about that devil? I bet her daddy is sooo...proud! I also bet he wonders why his drinkin' buddies want to drink at his house now instead of the bar down the street. My favorite though is the baby bat. I mean, it takes commitment to your way of life to resist the urge to dress your seven year old like a pedophile's dream. Kudos to you for not taking the easy way, and listening when your daughter tells you she wants to be a princess, or a witch, or a fairy. Forget about weather appropriate while you are throwing age appropriate out the window. It's not Halloween unless your second-grader is in fishnets and boots. These girls are lucky, really! I didn't understand the power of fishnets and boots 'til I met the strippers that worked near the marine base.

XX13 and I went to Party City and she grabbed a costume, and said,

"How a bout a 'Punkish Witch?" i thought that was okay, so I looked at the costume. It was actually a costume for a witch who isn't making quite enough money through potions, and needs to sell a little 'sumpin sumpin' on the side, including, fishnets, a choker, a corset, and a slutty asymmetrical skirt.

As much as I want my daughter to be ambitious, I prefer her career aspirations to not include carrying KY Jelly in her purse.

I know everyone noticed the slutty costumes for little girls, even Tom friggin' Leykis, the world's foremost misogynist, or woman's advocate, I'm not sure which. I've read several essays on it, but I'm still pissed. When I discussed it with my friend, she said,

"They market what sells. At some point someone realized after Halloween, the sexy costumes were sold, the scary or cute or ugly costumes weren't. And you have to remember, it's the parents who buy them, not the kids." I paused to see if I could remember why enforced sterilization was bad.

My second battle was with my XY10. He wanted to be something bloody and menacing, preferably with body parts falling off. Well, XX5 is an easily spooked child. So is XY10, but I guess having a scary mask would empower him. He had to settle for a light-up hockey mask a-la Jason of Friday the 13th. Some Halloweens are better than others. This was not one of the great ones. Thank goodness we get candy. That's right, We! Long live mini-Snickers bar.