I am reading Body Double by Tess Gerritsen. I am taking a break from literature in favor of escapism.
This has been a sucky Spring. Not just for me, for many people I know and love. Loved ones are dying, marriages are difficult, and children are going astray. Add in that most of us are working twice as hard for half as much money, I would say that Spring of 2008 rivals Fall of 2001 for highest concentration of lousy shit happening in a compressed amount of time. On the plus side, a very beautiful baby was born this Spring. Hope is alive.
With the many things going on, and difficulties, I feel my life being distilled. I want to figure out what is really important and focus on that. Problem is, I am not sure about what that is. I know the obvious, family, faith, health, but what does that really mean? Why do I buy organic vegetables and smoke? How do I balance my love for my husband, and my desire to spend time alone with him with my love for my children and their desire to spend time with me? Am I doing the right thing to prepare them for a life as Christians. Don't even get me started about education. Let's just say, I will not putting an order in for XY17's graduation cake too far ahead of time! After some thought, I will be putting a map in XX13's room. What do you, especially those of you who know me, but even those who don't, what do you think is important?
2 comments:
Burpykitty said...I feel sad that you feel so sad. I try to follow this guideline... GOD - MARRIAGE - CHILDREN - EVERYTHING ELSE. I will always, always have my relationship with God. I will have my relationship with my husband (be living with him) for the rest of my or his life. My children in comparison are a temporary priority as they are only in our house for a short time. Everything else falls in where it can. The bottom line is: do the best you can. I truly believe it will balance out in the end. I also really, truly believe that everything happens for a reason according to God's plan. Thank you, God, because I don't want to be in charge! Hang in there. Sending you big hugs - can you feel 'em?
I disagree! What will you do if your husband runs off with another woman and leaves you alone with your children that you have put third on your list, will you doubt there is a God then? Please don't be smug and say but I know he won't. I put my children first.I also think it's reasonable to have some sad and some happy days. I live by the motto be grateful for what you have, as there's always someone worse off.
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