I am so seldom in this position. I am usually running with the conservative moms. I am the one who doesn't let my kids watch South Park, or even watch PG13 movies before they are 13. I never let my boy's choneys (underwear) show when they sagged their jeans. My girls have to dress modestly all the time, no matter what. My kids have to call adults Mr. or Mrs., or at the very least, Miss, as in Miss Michelle. I allow my younger three children very little freedom without me.
Now, all of a sudden, I am in the other camp. I have made many decisions that made me unpopular with my kids. Now I have made a decision that has made me unpopular with parents whose opinion matters to me.
I thought I didn't care what people thought of me, but it turns out I do. I have always parented according to my conscience and it has served me well. My kids are amazing and overall we are a close family. I let XX13 get her nose pierced because I think it looks cute. I was willing to allow XY17 to pierce his lip because he is 17 and has earned the privilege of looking the way he wants by doing everything else right. He brought it up for the first time over a year ago. It has taken him that long to get his grades to what I required in order to say yes. I consider most piercings temporary in that once you remove the post, the remaining hole is nearly invisible. I would never agree to something I would consider permanent. I would never agree to the large wholes that many boys, and some girls put in their ears. I am for very long and thoughtful consideration before getting a tattoo. I recommend a year, minimum. I have also made my feelings clear about how I feel about tattoos. I am not a big fan. I have told my kids if at some point they get one, it should be someplace where it can only be seen if they are wearing a bathing suit.
I am adamant about allowing my children some autonomy with their appearance. I realize that people judge you on your looks. My children are experimenting with sending different messages. Unfortunately, I seem to be sending the loudest message of all.
7 comments:
I am just busting your balls! You know I think you're the best!
I love you.
xoxo
*Smile* I know, but thanks for saying it anyway. You are not the only one who has a negative opinion.
Burpykitty said...Is it really that bad? You don't have to explain and/or defend your parenting decisions! Anyone who knows you, knows you always have your childrens' best interest at heart. Pierce your freaking labia if you feel like it! That kind of stuff is no ones business anyway.
Burpykitty said...Running with bad moms? A bad mom is one who neglects her children, or beats them, or is an alcoholic, or a drug addict, or otherwise abusive. I would never describe you as a bad mom and neither would anyone else who knows and loves you.
I was standing in the check-out line at Costco the other evening with my husband. I noticed a young boy (maybe 11 years old or so) there with his mother. The boy was wearing a mohawk. I turned to my husband and said, "I don't think I would let our young kids get their hair cut that way. Would you?" He said "No way! I don't need my son looking like an inmate." I agreed and went on to say that I know no one should judge a book by its cover, but people make judgements based on looks ALL the time. So I didn't think it would be a good idea to give a young child the disadvantage of looking like a delinquent and having people (ignorant people, admittedly) give the child a hard time because of their looks.
Then again, I don't have any children so what do I know?
Burr-naise said...Count me in the "bad momma" club! I was the one whose baby boy at age 6 sported a mohawk w/ liberty spikes! My princess wears dark eyeliner(lots),dresses like an 80's punk, and dyes her hair. #1 son's hair is so long you can't see his face. Hair grows out, piercings can be removed, makeup and clothes change.It's the heart we need to be concerned about, not the shell. Rock on Bad Momma, Rock On!
Burpykitty said...I love you Burr-naise!
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