See that puff of Smoke Floating By? That was my Parent Card

A few things. First, 'Nanny Diaries' is not a comedy. Do not be fooled. I have seen 'Feed the Children' commercials that were less depressing.

Second. I found out why XY17 has been in such a good mood. It clicked when he said he's had no appetite for a week. Her name is Faith.

Third. If you have been waiting for an opportunity to judge me...your wait is over.

XY17 texted me to ask me if I would take him to get a double lip piercing called 'snake bites'. I was at Costco when I got the text. I knew it was coming. XY17 mentioned it many times. I have always been very laid back about my children's appearance, as long as it is modest, and not disrespectful. Of course 'not disrespectful' is open to interpretation. XY17 has dreadlocks, and XX13 has been reprimanded at school for showing up with hot pink hair. I would be sad if at any time one of my kids chose to get tattooed, or got their ears stretched with those types of earrings. Beyond that, we can discuss it. I agreed to take XY17 to the tatoo parlor to get his lip pierced. Twice. I brought XX13 and XX5. XX13, for some time, has wanted to get the cartilage in her ear pierced. I didn't mind that at all. Then she brought up something we talked about months ago. She asked if she could get her nose pierced.

"Daddy will kill me dead," I said. She pushed a little. I gave vague answers. Finally, I jokingly said that if she got her nose pierced, I would have to get mine done. "You should!' the two older ones said.

We got to the tattoo parlor, in the same shopping center as a Smoke Shop and a radical clothing store. And many, many people smoking in the parking lot. We had to wait a slightly uncomfortable amount of time for the piercer to return from taking his car appointment. XY17 can't have facial piercings at work, so in order for this to work, he has to be able to put clear plastic retainers in while at work. We found out that the piercing had to heal for at least three weeks before you can put the plastic retainers in. It wasn't going to work. XY17 was very disappointed. XX13 asked if she could still get her piercings done.

"No," I said, "This was Xy17's day. We'll do it another day." We left for home. XY17 had a concert to go to. XX13 was sullen and silent. I was pissed and hurt. I had been looking forward to an evening with her. I spoke to her about it a little, but I could tell she was upset. After a while she apologized, but she was still very quiet.

We got in the car to go to Trader Joe's and Pinkberry. Then, in the car, she began to talk.

"It's just that XY11 got something special," (Baseball trip with Roser) "and XY17 get something special," (Concert an hour out of town) "and I have been so good, with all the stress on our family. I have really tried, and for me, I have really good grades. It's not fair." she said, ending with the universal lament. I could not argue with her. She has been so good. She tries to get along with her brothers. She helps take care of XX5. She seldom pouts, she never cries. She is unfailingly dependable.I told her she had to choose, ear cartilage or nose. She said nose. I called the tattoo parlor. Then I called Roser. He was not happy. But he wasn't going to say no. Neither was I. The other thing I could not do was have her go through it alone.

XX13 and I are both the owners of one extra hole in our heads decorated with lovely sparkling studs.